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What I mean to say is goodbye
The year is hardly a month in and already it has been harsh – we celebrated the New Year with paracetamol and pajamas as we came down with the flu. What the hell, 2012? You won’t give us a break, will you? I’m thinking back on 2011. The year started in Saudi Arabia and ended...
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(R)
A few nights ago Julien and I were back in the bowels of Paris which is the metro, snaking our way back to familiar territory: rue Oberkampf, to watch a concert. Pinback doesn’t have a new album out but for some reason they are touring. And thank god they’re touring – I was surprised that...
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Cold
So what happened since the last time I was here? Winter happened. A week of Indian summer, then change took over : leaves turned red and fell, scarves and boots made a reappearance. Lila and I still go to the park wrapped in our warmest coats. This morning I crouched in front of her and...
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Productivity
It’s been quite a long time since I worked, and it’s scary. I’m supposed to take things easy and to not stress myself out, but I can’t help but long for those days when I could pull an all-nighter working on a design or coding a website. With Lila in the picture, I’m forced to...
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And at once I knew I was not magnificent
Future stretches once again into the unknown, long-term and short-term plans are thrown into a paper bag, shaken, and I haven’t opened the bag yet to know what will happen, and maybe I’ll bide my time, because I don’t want to know yet… So. Evenings by the pool, summer welcoming us with rain, but it...
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About the password protected post below…
In the ten years I’ve been writing here, I’ve never once made a password-protected post. This is a first, and probably the last. If you like, you could write me an email and I’ll send you the password. But please understand if I don’t give it out to everyone. Please don’t take it badly. There...
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Nostalgia
Chatting with a friend on YM has made me feel nostalgic. I am sorely missing my south of France days. I miss my working days in Marseille; even the hour-long commute that came with it. I remember the first time it snowed in Aix-en-Provence, and I immediately took the bus to go downtown and everyone...
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No more
No more fight left in me. Today I let my arms fall after keeping them up and moving for so long. No more fight left in me. Today I surrender. Empty shell. Today I stop hoping and expecting. Things will get better, and eventually I will get what I want, but the time between then...
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4 months
Almost four months. Christmas lights installed and then put away, train rides from the north to south, snow and rain and sun and wind. Time passes, you grow, we live. Nights growing longer and sleep getting deeper, smiles in the bathtub, cries and tantrums, books being read. Emergency room trips and bandages and tears. Us...
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This is where dreams are made
This is where dreams are made. In the early morning – at 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am. In a separate room from your husband, the lamp on all night. Baby against your breast. You absorbing the strange sounds she makes in her sleep. Dreams are made when you are wishing that you too could sleep. The...
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