Love, love, love these commericals of Honda Jazz!
Look At That Fucking Hipster…
Ninja
Massive (”I need to hydrate often” – LOL)
There’s a Rap version too, but I didn’t like it that much.
Currently listening to:
Broken Social Scene
Forgiveness Rock Record
If you think you’d want Google as your roommate…
Episode 2
Episode 3
Currently listening to:
Marissa Nadler
Little Hells
The problem with me is that when I am sad, I expect people around me to be sad as well. Have you ever heard of anything more selfish, more egoistic, than that? I have the ability to shut down and shut others out. I also am quite skilled at not being able to amuse myself. I fear that as I get older, I wait for things to happen instead of making them happen. Which is not good at all.
When I put on a show, it’s like draping black curtains over the windows and mirrors of a house. How hard is it to remember that I am 29 and not 16 anymore? I expect others to read my mind, to solve my problems, to comfort me, without me saying a word to them. It ends up in chaos, in confusion. It ends in silence: suffocating black curtains blocking out the sun, blocking out my reflection, so that I cannot look into my own eyes and realise that a hole too deep has been dug; that what I started, from something nonsensical, has blown out of proportion and now has powers of its own.
I envy others; I feel superiour to others; I do not know what I want. The problem with me is that I have never really learned how to talk about things that seem important to me, just because I am afraid that other people will find it unimportant.
Currently listening to:
The Album Leaf
Into the Blue Again
Last week, the tiles on the kitchen floor started to swell, as if there was an octopus lurking underneath, trying to get out (even though I know that octopuses… octupii?… can fit thru a bottle’s neck. Saw it on National Geogrphic years ago. Fucking amazing, those creatures! I am quite obsessed with them). Then followed a strange sound, and suddenly the cement holding the tiles together started to crumble. Ah, construction in Qatar. At first glance everything looks ok, but the truth is that buildings, and their finishings, are put together haphazardly. I’ll bet that in 10 years most of the buildings here will start crumbling.
This afternoon I took a nap, which lasted 5 hours. I woke up because of my bad driving. In my dream, I was driving à la Qatari — recklessly. My sister was with me and I was breaking about a hundred and twenty rules of Safe Driving. What really woke me up though, was when I overtook another car and found myself at a stoplight (of course, it was red, and contrary to my earlier driving, I actually stopped). The road was titled at a crazy angle; it was a slope, but we were practically vertical, the car almost tipping over backwards. Panicked, I realised that I didn’t know how to handle slopes (which is crazy, because I aced the hanging part in the driving exam, where you stop and restart the car at a slope). I was yelling at my sister, my foot frozen on the brakes, knowing that we were going to tip over. She was teasing me, saying “You mean you don’t know? You mean we’re going to hit the car behind us?” and finally she pulled up the handbrake, but my foot still wouldn’t leave the brake.
There are a thousand interpretations for this dream but I’m too bored to even think about them. My mind, it’s mush. It’s filled with work and music and the biography of Marie Antoinette (which I’m reading right now, and it’s fucking brilliant!). And my body feels different — I blame Julien, who is currently in this Healthy Zone Bubble. I find myself in the gym more and more, even though I pass my time on the treadmill raising various existential questions, the most popular being, What’s The Point Of Running When The Goal Is Unknown And I’m Not Really Moving And Anyway I Know I’ll Never Get There?
***
The area where I live is under constant, irritating, massive construction. Actually, ever since we arrived at the West Bay area, practically half of the streets have been under heavy travaux. Orange cones protect nonsense construction (for example, there has been a hole in the middle of the sidewalk that hasn’t been closed for months – and in this hole is a ladder… that leads to nothing but soil. Existential questions, all over again…), and now the roundabout leading to City Center has been closed (it’s being replaced with stoplights, finally), leaving clueless drivers to navigate themselves thru a maze of diversions, which blatantly lack the appropriate arrows and road signs.
It’s madness! No wonder I’ve been dreaming of reckless driving.
***
In response to all the hysteria, I plug my ears with math rock.
Currently listening to:
65daysofstatic
One Time for All Time
Urges are normal. Days like these, I find the urge to start smoking again. Cigarettes will suffice, but pot would be aces. And I’m not talking about just any pot — I’m talking pot from the Philippines, preferrably from Sagada. Because I like pot! And dreams are free.
PS. To all the goody two-shoes out there, go away.
Currently listening to:
Explosions in the Sky
The Earth is not a Cold Dead Place
There was a huge forest fire some weeks ago very close to Aix-en-Provence, I’ve never seen anything like it. Planes were swooping down from the sky trying to stop the fire from moving towards town. The best view, of course, was from the swimming pool — and so, for lack of a better topic, I am posting pictures.
Now that I’ve gotten past Jude Law’s Jewels Incident (phew! life is hard), let me return to what I was doing before he pulled down his pants.
Apparently there is a thing called tagging, and I see that people remember their accomplishments so clearly that I am ashamed to only remember how I felt back then. I can only guess what happened years ago. Anyway, here you go Analyse:
20 years ago I was probably running around the streets or stealing other people’s flipflops (because from a very young age I could never stick to just one pair of flipflops). I was also most probably missing my front teeth.
10 years ago I was about to be a freshman at UP College of Fine Arts. Watched bands play during the freshman orientation night. Ate a lot of fishballs from Fine Art’s resident Manong Fishball, and as a result caught typhoid fever and missed a month of school. This did not deter me from eating more fishballs once I recovered (I wonder how they make the sauce? I know it’s 90% bacteria but damn it’s good)
5 years ago was my Lost Year. I was painting, smoking, writing a lot. Goodtimes with good friends. Travelled to Jordan for holidays (everyone should visit Petra). And then, Mahmud my Robot came into my life. He is as robotic as the first day I laid eyes on him.
3 years ago I made up my mind to make wise, wise decisions. I wanted to make my life amount to something. Then I turned down an opportunity to work in China, which is something I regret to this day. Friends, never choose stability.
Last year I bought my first Christmas tree and strung Christmas lights over it. Last year I found a cat outside our house, I brought it in, gave him milk, then let him go again and cried when it left. Last year I found my first job in France. Last year I wondered where my life was heading.
This year I saw my family after 2 years. Julien and I bought 2 guitars – an electric and an acoustic. And I still have no cat or dog.
Yesterday I finished reading Memoirs of a Geisha. Then realised that I bought the wrong kind of bagoong for manggang hilaw (total waste of money. Who wants bagoong guisado?!)
Today I sat infront of the window mulling over where my life was going.
Tomorrow I shall be in Paris.
Next year Julien and I will hopefully be in another country, and I hope to have some direction in my life.
Five years from now… who knows what the future holds.
Okay, I was answering this tag thing that Analyse started, but halfway through I got distracted because I “stumbled upon” a picture of Jude Law’s penis. Then the electricity went out! Hello! When has looking at celebrity penises ever been a sin?!
Before I regal you with tales of my Manila trip, I should get these pictures out of the way.
Speaking of graceless sleepers, here is a picture of the famous new dog, Son of Zorro, Butsog, who wants to share a picture of his balls to each and everyone of you, with Love:
This is how he sleeps. Seriously.
This dog has numerous annoying habits, it’s amazing. He is an Elbow-Licker. My mother, who is a kind soul but a bit too accomodating when it comes to Zorro and Butsog, sighs that Butsog is “so sweet” each time he licks our elbows while eating.
He also likes to charge and jump at you, muddy or wet paws and all, ONLY WHEN YOU’RE WEARING A WHITE SHIRT. Once I was wearing a black shirt and jeans, and he just stared at me and sniffed disdainfully.
He does have one talent, and that is his ability to make his ears disappear.
Zorro, however, is still a grumpy old fart.
I must, I must write something, just a little something about my trip to Manila, but I am overcome with extreme sloth and it is too warm here in Aix en Provence that I find myself by the poolside from sunup till sunset.
Apart for this, I am also overcome with shame for not having had the decency to send an SMS to Mari, who now most probably wants to shave my head. Mari, I am sorry! Everything was a blur and I didn’t even have my own phone! Have mercy on me, but if you don’t, I can’t really blame you. My sincerest apologies to no end.
E, my mother told me you called the day after I left and you may also shave my head the next time you see me. If my (hopefully still my) friend Mari beats you to it, could you just pinch my arm a bit? Thanks!
