This is where dreams are made. In the early morning – at 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am. In a separate room from your husband, the lamp on all night. Baby against your breast. You absorbing the strange sounds she makes in her sleep. Dreams are made when you are wishing that you too could sleep. The tiredness overcoming your body, overpowering you, overwhelming. In the kitchen, carefully spooning out the correct amount of powdered milk into a bottle, your feet on the cold, bare tiles, shivering slightly and watching the rain pound on the freshly planted grass. October rolls in; time flies fast. You sit in the darkness with the television on, senseless show after senseless show, one after the other, while you wait for the baby to jerk awake and start crying. The anticipation of the morning. The sadness when your husband leaves for work. The happiness when you hear the key turn in the lock and he steps inside in the evening. The time in between. Dreams are made in the time in between.

Currently listening to:
Moriarty
Gee Whiz But This Is A Lonesome Town

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7 comments

  1. jessi says:

    Oct 7, 2009

    sounds like you don’t find the time and power to feel simply and freely happy about your little Lila.

    send you a big hug and wish you some sleep!!

  2. Makis says:

    Oct 7, 2009

    Hope you’ll be able to reach a nice REM sleep so you could have happy dreams of sleeping :)

  3. maria says:

    Oct 10, 2009

    Hello! Ihave two grown up girls now. I can understand your situation. This moments in life is just magic try to cherish it , times goes so quickly .I enjoy reading your blog, am as well filipina married to French man & residing in Paris. If you need someone to talk to donn’t hesitate to e mail me .

  4. Timi says:

    Oct 16, 2009

    babies are miracles :p don’t you just feel your maternal instincts coming out? wishing time will fly fast so Lila will reach that stage wherein she can sleep without crying.
    *hugs*

  5. Mario says:

    Oct 28, 2009

    “…time flies fast.” so enjoy your little bundle of joy. Teenage is worse… no control and you’re hapless.

    Great piece of writing… see what sleep deprivation can do. I guess, it inspires you…

  6. abby says:

    Nov 17, 2009

    i can’t believe i haven’t been here before, i have a lot of catching up to do.

    congratulations on the birth of your little Lila! i know it’s tough now, but things will eventually get easier for you and her. :)

  7. kat says:

    Jan 8, 2010

    i love this post. then again, i always like whatever you write. and listen to!
    speaking of which, would you pls. make me a cd of stuff i should be listening to? i don’t have any fresh new music…le sigh!

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