I can tell you what I don’t know. I don’t know how to react when people tell me things straight from the heart. Should I feel cut down, should I be relieved. I don’t know how huge the sky is already, I don’t know if it will ever stop expanding in my mind. I don’t know the concept of misconception anymore. I don’t know who to avoid when I want to disappear, I don’t know who to approach when I want to be seen. I don’t understand why train rides take so long, or why people seem unaffected, or why the punchline never seems to come. I don’t know why staring into confusion makes me retreat.
I don’t know how to see people, don’t want to meet people, don’t want to stop meeting people, don’t want to extend hands to the next person and answer how-do-you-do‘s with I’m-fine-thank-you‘s when inside all I feel is the opposite of fine, the opposite of knowing. I don’t know what to do, when everything becomes the opposite, and everyone is laughing at a joke I just don’t get.
