Filter all the unnecessary elements of your life. It’s too short to be burdened by these little jagged inconsistencies.
Sitting on a sinking garden with the sinking sun, laptop casting an eerie glow on my face. My most dreaded moment happens, just then. Just as I light my next cigarette a friendly jogger, probably in his mid-40′s, strikes up conversation. He asks about the gadget on my lap. He raves about “technology”, how the young people have the “it” to make it in this world. I smile politely but I want to sink, just as my feelings sink to the pit of my stomach.
He doesn’t know how much everyone is lost. As lost as he is. I don’t feel like I have the “it” he describes. I tell him so, but there is a patronizing, if not impatient, look in his eyes. I know the Discman sitting beside me betrays what I have just said to him. I’m so glad I was sans cellphone. I finally got the courage to get rid of it.
There is no use convincing this man. He bids me goodbye and continues his jog. Leaving me to shut the laptop, lie back on the grass, and just listen. I suppose I listen to what cannot be put into words. Adults think that we have all the power, that we are too connected to the world. How they hold on to us for guidance, for some crash-course on the future. I would have loved to show him that I knew exactly what I was doing.
In reality, I knew I had no clue myself.
- Am currently listening to: Teenage Fanclub (Songs from Northern Britain), for Stars (We Are All Beautiful People), Harvey Danger (yes, Julien, I just got me ze cd:-)) The Beta Band and my new Maria Callas cd (Yay!). I used to hate buying cd’s: now, I adore them. I also saw a live performance by someone named Ed Alain Johnson, who did some fantastic things with his violin while dressed in leather from head to foot. Oh, happy dagger.
